What no one told you about having babies

  1. When one sleeps the other not only doesn’t, but won’t let you do anything but hold her.
  2. Sleeping is a luxury, not for the first few months, but for the next 18 years.
  3. You stop wondering why people bring sticky children to the store – it happened with the bribe in the car on the way to the store!
  4. Headaches and heartaches are the least of your worries – backaches from lifting, lugging and carrying them and their stuff keeps chiropractors in business!
  5. A night relaxing means laying on the floor being used as a punching bag.
  6. Toddlers can eat as much as an adult when they’re hungry.
  7. Unwanted advice people warn you about comes from the people who warned you in the first place.
  8. Your mother starts sounding like your grandmother. And your grandmother starts sounding sane.
  9. You wonder why sex sounded fun in the first place.
  10. You need a high capacity washer and dryer even though the clothes are tiny – it’s your clothes that you need it for!!
  11. Nothing is ever clean again. Cause even when you clean it, it gets dirty within minutes.
  12. You get no sympathy for your pain, just laughter.
  13. Your relationship with your mother-in-law becomes a finite love or hate.
  14. Strangers have opinions about your children, even with just a glance.
  15. Other people’s children do not become more easy to deal with, you just can’t pay as much attention because yours has become one of them!
  16. Bath time is fraught with danger – not the drowning kind, the poopy kind.
  17. Rubbing Bengay on each other is foreplay.
  18. You learn why your mom can clean everything and anything. And how to get her to do it for you.
  19. A child free shower can be the highlight of your day.
  20. Drinking heavily is on your list of to-do’s since a glass of wine has less calories that the gallon of ice cream you need to sooth your nerves.

Post Author: Angela Corry